Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
