WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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