Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
