I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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