Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just found puke in my bra..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
