I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
