she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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