I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
