After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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