new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
