If that was your dad, he is hot
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
