out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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