Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
