So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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