i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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