my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
