will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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