Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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