Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
