Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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