she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
