lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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