she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
