I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Acid is not a monday night drug
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
