Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
