I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What a dumb baby whore.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
