Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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