I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
