hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
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Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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