gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
