hotel room ftw
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
