god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
