Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
