i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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