I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
