Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
