so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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