Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
