Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize