Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize