we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
