i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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