Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
