Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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