I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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