She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
