Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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