Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
