please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
