Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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