ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
