Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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