You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
