PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
