Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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