yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
