Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
