is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
