My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize