Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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