Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize