She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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